The Sidelong Glances Of A Septuagenarian Rollerblader

The Sidelong Glances Of a Septuagenarian Roller Blader O’ what a flowery track lies before me henceforth! What dust clouds shall spring up behind me as I speed on my reckless way!  Toad The Wind In The Willows ‘Twas a nightmare come true. As I shot out of Central Park out of control and at […]

A CAT TALE

A CAT TALE The following story is true. It has been verified by a highly respected notary public and impartial witnesses. It’s a simple tale about a man and his cat. But if I had the energy—which I don’t — it could also be about government duplicity, corporate greed, and foreign intrigue. On Tuesday, a […]

Requiem For A Mad Man Part II

Requiem For A Mad Man Part II The Continuing Saga of Brendan Kelly Tap Dancer             This was , I’m guessing , 1992. But then  four years elapsed , time heals etc. and Brendan was onto his new thing  : Art Knockoffs and  Time Capsules. He and “his new backer” –the fabulously wealthy Park Avenue […]

My So-Called White Privilege

My So-Called White Privilege Hustling Seeds Door To Door To Buy A Mitt I was brought up in an Irish ghetto called Hell –no money for booze, smokes, chicks. At age 9,  I got beaten up regularly by women with thick Irish brogues dressed in black who told us we could be evaporated by “Roos—kee” […]

Did Capitalism Destroy Portland?

Did Capitalism Destroy Portland? Fleeing Sodom by Camille Corot The Bacon Condom Saga   Portland Stinks! Outdoor pooping, peeing, and puking by the homeless are NOT social drinking –no matter what city officials claim. Add air thick with Blunt Skunk and that calescent Magic Marker stench from crack pipes, and it’s enough to make one […]

The Anti-Netflix Union

The Anti-Netflix Union Ezekiel Stool Our Founder Dear Sisters and Brothers of the Anti-Dramatic and Saltatory* Union : Despite the COVID interruption, I want to assure you that the war against theatrical productions and dance halls continues. Members were in evidence only last week handing out our pamphlet “The Chorus Girl’s Lament “  in front […]

Cancer: Not As Fun As I Hoped

Cancer : Not As Fun As I Hoped “I am battling cancer, “ always seemed a fatuous boast. I’ve   been sick before : no work, stay in bed , take drugs , binge movies , read, play with self. What’s not to like ? To a melanin deficient, Y chromosome heterosexual , the Victim Card […]